An Unexpected Grace

“To die to our neighbors means to stop judging them, to stop evaluating them, and thus to become free to be compassionate. Compassion can never coexist with judgment because judgment creates the distance, the distinction, which prevents us from really being with the other.” – Henri J.M. Nouwen

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The Good Place is a television series that revolves around the concept of the afterlife. According to the show, humans are sent to either the Good Place or the Bad Place after they die. During their lifetime, every human is assigned a numerical score that is based on their actions. Only those with the highest scores are deemed worthy of entering the Good Place, where they are rewarded with eternal happiness.

“The Good Place” is not your run-of-the-mill comedy show. It delves into impressive philosophical themes and offers a unique perspective on judgment. The show explores the concept of retributive justice, which suggests that the destiny of all rational beings is determined by their good and bad deeds.

Judgment

noun

1. the ability to make considered decisions or come to a conclusion.
2. A misfortune or calamity. Viewed as punishment.

During a conversation with Ken, a few weeks ago, he shared an interesting perspective. He explained that “as Christians, we commonly assume that judgment only comes at the end. We believe that we receive grace first and are then judged at the end”. However, Ken emphasized that this is not the case. “In reality, judgment comes first, and then we are always being judged; that is how we are able to receive grace.” That is, grace is always “despite” and not “because of” our human condition (Karl Barth).

The parable of the Prodigal Son illustrates the dynamics of judgment, grace, and human relationships. While it is often portrayed as a story about God’s love, its central theme revolves around our interactions with each other.

Perspective Taking: The Prodigal Son

What I’m about to say is subjective and my own opinion, but I think we often live and judge ourselves, others, and events either in the past, present, or future in our headspace as rational creatures.

1. Past – guilt, shame, regret, dwelling on what happened, replaying events or conversations, over analyzing.
2. Present – clarity, acceptance, joy of being, understanding, inner peace, gratitude.
3. Future – fear of the unknown, worrying about what could happen, feeling anxious for what is to come, ‘what if’ scenarios.

I am not saying that being in any particular headspace is either good or bad, but I believe that the following list is useful in understanding what shapes and evaluates our lives in the world today. For instance, if we view the narrative of the Prodigal Son through the lens of past, present, and future, we can gain deeper insight into the characters and their motivations within the story.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Luke 15:11-32 (NIV)

We see that the younger son is experiencing something close to depression and anxiety when he reunites with his father. Believing and acknowledging the judgment he placed on himself and believing in the possibility of his father’s wrath was justified. However, the father is a glimpse of a character who is mindful of the deep hurt, damaged trust, and wound that his son did to him, but he also sees someone taking ownership, and anything but forgiveness doesn’t make sense.

To emphasize the humanity of the Prodigal Son parable, we can turn to the season 1 finale of Ted Lasso to observe Rebecca and Ted in action.

‘You…What? Why?’

At the beginning of season 1, Rebecca hires Ted Lasso to coach the Richmond team, intending to take them down to get back at her ex-husband for hurting her. As the audience, we walk with Rebecca as she begins to sabotage Ted at every possibility and as her humanity begins to come out.

Ted, also going through a divorce, can understand and share Rebecca’s pain and forgive her. Despite the damage caused by the hurt and loss of trust, he recognizes that she is taking responsibility for her actions. This empathy is the outcome that we observe.